“Tolerance” is growing to be more and more of a buzzword. There are plenty of ways to use it rightly, but unfortunately it gets thrown around a lot to give more clout to someone’s opinion by telling those who disagree that they are “intolerant,” an adjective which is supposed to make people gasp and bring great shame upon the one receiving it.

First, I should explain that it is important to make a distinction between social tolerance and religious tolerance.

With social tolerance, we can live in a civil society extending friendship and showing respect and courtesy to people who differ from you, whether that difference is something as large as religious truth or as small as which sports team is superior. When people say that Jesus preached tolerance, He did preach this kind of tolerance, seen quite obviously in the commands to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39) and to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). Not that those who differ from us are our enemies (in context, His listening audience would have understood enemies as those who wished them physical harm), but if we are to love even our enemies, how much more so our friends and acquaintances and all the people we interact with?

But theological tolerance (a.k.a. religious pluralism) is different, going beyond civility amongst differing opinions and insisting that all religions are basically the same. Theological tolerance attempts to make an objective claim based on the forced assumption that every person’s theology is subjective and personal (except for the person making the claim, if you follow that line of logic). One common analogy for this idea is that of a large mountain with many paths to the peak, the point being that while the paths may be different, they all get you to the top, i.e. to God.

In one of his recent sermons¹, pastor Tim Keller gave what I thought was an excellent response to that line of thinking:

To insist that all religions are right, that all the roads are going to the same place, is actually silly… We’d have to be intellectually intolerant.

Hitler, for example, believed he was on a divine mission… Nazism really had very religious roots, and yet the world by consensus has decided that it’s not valid. As soon as you send judgment on that particular religion, then you’re already denying your original principle.

Theological tolerance of religions is absolutely impossible for anybody. When you say to me, “You mustn’t try to convert people to your religion, as if your religion is superior,” what you’re really saying is, “I want you to abandon your inferior view of religious truth and take my superior view”… [saying] that your view of religious truth— that all religion is relative— is superior to my religious truth— that some religious truths are absolute. And so you’re doing the very thing you say I shouldn’t do… What you’re immediately saying is “Your road doesn’t go the same place. You’re actually saying, “My view of religion is superior to your view of religion.”

So to say all religions are relative is a religion… To say you can’t judge between religions is to judge between religions. To say you can’t determine right and wrong beliefs is a determination of right and wrong beliefs… To insist that no religious truth is superior (and by doing that insist that your religious truth is superior) is completely inconsistent.

I think most of the people who hold this view probably started with good intentions. At face value it sounds much friendlier, and supposedly this way no one’s feelings get hurt and the pressure is off. But who decided that for something to be true it had to be pleasant and accommodating to everyone? Regardless of any good intentions, there is a giant gaping hole in the logic behind making an absolute claim stating that there are no absolute claims. It also shows little knowledge of the world’s religions. Keller elaborates:

Of all the religions, Jesus is the one who came through and said, “I’m the founder, and I’m God.” Islam and Judaism say God could never become a human being. Buddhism and Hinduism say God can often become a human being. But only Christianity says… “We believe in the incarnation of God”… The problem is that in these areas there’s a divergence of roads, and either Jesus was a megalomaniac, or he was who he said he was.

Whether we’re questioning our ideas of theological tolerance or our own religious beliefs, that’s the question we have to ask ourselves— was Jesus who He said He was? If not, then we can go on our merry way, but if so, He made some claims that bear tremendous weight— claims that would certainly sound intolerant in the mindset of many people today.

In Matthew 7, in the sentence immediately after the nice, tolerant, oft-quoted “Golden Rule” (v. 12), Jesus busts out with this controversial statement:

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matthew 7:13-14)

That certainly doesn’t sound tolerant! Jesus said that there aren’t many paths, but two— one that leads to God, and one that doesn’t. Yet, we know that because of Jesus’ teachings on social tolerance (Matthew 5:43-48 and Matthew 22:39) He wants us to be kind to others regardless of our differences, yet still hold firm to our theological convictions.

Later, Jesus went on to say,

I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Jesus isn’t only saying that He knew truth or spoke truth, but that He is truth. Jesus, being God incarnate, was and is the embodiment of truth and ultimate reality. The truth He holds is this: that by His death He made the way— in fact, He became the path to God. Jesus is that narrow path that leads to the top.

So, do you believe Jesus is who He says He is?

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken— Robert Frost

1: “Authentic Christianity” sermon by Tim Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on 1/31/12. You can download the whole sermon for free on ITunes.

Related: “Is Pluralism More Tolerant Than Christianity?”

From our Germany blog:

I recently came across a blog with an interesting response to American church leaders trying to help European exchange students find a good church when they return home:

“You need to realize firstly that the most of the churches to which you are sending your new believer are fundamentally broken. What used to be the heart and center of world-wide Christianity—the home of the reformation—is decidedly post-Christian. Churches are relics, museums, and empty memorials of an institution that is as worldly as they come. You are preparing to send your student away from a vibrant community that meets regularly and pushes the limits of creativity to an empty, cold stone building that might see a dozen people gather once a week for a matter of minutes to celebrate a religious ritual. Europe is less evangelical today that parts of communist China. It is harder to communicate the true meaning of the Gospel to Europeans than to Muslims in the Middle East.” Continue reading →

Do we love God like He loves us?

Most people, Christians and non-Christians alike, like the idea of unconditional love. We can understand how some people would love each other unconditionally, like parents’ love for their children, and while we may not always be sure how to give that kind of love, we tend to have little problem receiving it.

Being unconditionally loved by God is part of what makes the Gospel “good news” and is one of the hallmark differences between Christianity and other belief systems— that we do not have to earn God’s love, but He gives it freely, not because of anything we could do (Ephesians 2:4-9) but because He wants to (Ephesians 1:4-5).

Since there is nothing you could do to earn it, there’s nothing you could do to lose it either:

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:38-39)

Let that sink in for a minute— you cannot lose God’s love! He knew you before you were born (Psalm 139:13-16) and loved you even knowing all the way’s you’d sin in your life (Romans 5:8). No wonder we are charged to “rejoice always” (Philippians 4:4)! We ought to rejoice in the fact that God loved us first, and this should color our attitude towards life and each other:

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
(1 John 4:9-11)

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
(1 John 4:19-20)

These verses pretty well sum up the idea of unconditional love of God and that which we express towards each other. We enjoy receiving God’s unconditional love, and we certainly should, but do we love God unconditionally?

The Bible says we are to walk as Jesus did (I John 2:4-6). Jesus, God in the flesh, was the final atonement for our sins and the conduit for God to love us in spite of our unworthiness before His holiness. If God loves us unconditionally, then in order to “walk in the same way in which [Jesus] walked” then it stands to reason that we should likewise love God unconditionally. Jesus not only loved God this way, but also us, giving up His life to reconcile us to God.

Also, the Bible says to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind (Luke 20:27); this reflected both in the Old (Deuteronomy 6:5) and New Testaments (also in Matthew 22:37-40). This is an all-consuming love— to love God with every area of our lives and every fiber of our being. Do you think that kind of love could be conditional?

Often, instead of reciprocating the kind of love that God has shown us, we tend to hold back. Sometimes we have a hard time believing that God unconditionally loves us because we didn’t experience that love from our parents or a spouse, and out of self-protection for our past hurts, we hold back. Or, sometimes we falsely believe that the bad things that happen in our lives are signs showing that God doesn’t love us as much as we thought, and we hold back because we think that’s what God is doing. But the Bible doesn’t leave room for us to doubt God’s love for us, and so if we can be confident in His love, we can confidently love Him in return.

We often forget that God isn’t like us fallen human beings:

God isn’t fickle; He is steadfast:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.— Lamentations 3:22-23

The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.— Psalm 145:8

God isn’t selfish; He is generous:

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!— Matthew 7:11

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?— Romans 8:32

God isn’t aloof or distant; He is near:

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.— Psalm 145:18

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”— Matthew 28:19-20

God isn’t dishonest; He is trustworthy:

For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. — Psalm 33:4

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. —Isaiah 26:3-4

God isn’t uncaring; He empathizes with you and knows you better than anyone

… you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.— Psalm 139:1-4

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. —Hebrews 4:15

God won’t abandon us; He is faithful.

For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD! —Psalm 117

…for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” —Hebrews 13:5-6

Because of the great unconditional love that God has shown us, be encouraged to confidently and unashamedly run with abandon into the arms of your Father, your Friend, your King, and love Him “with all your heart with all your soul with all your strength and with all your mind.”

Related:
Video: How He Loves
What Makes Someone a Christian?

Below is a book promo video for You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church… And Rethinking Faith by David Kinnaman. I haven’t read it yet but plan to once I can buy another book, especially after reading an article on Sojourners discussing more about the book and the issues it addresses— namely, that people in my age bracket are leaving church in droves because many of them are finding it to be all talk and no action:

In the new report… Barna Group President David Kinnaman notes a 43 percent drop in Christian church attendance between the teen and early adult years…

Perhaps most intriguing is that research indicates younger people are not only departing from their elders on “social issues,” … but on wealth distribution and care for the environment, as well… the widening “black hole” of church attendance in the 18-29 age demographic indicates a larger trend — young people are thirsting for social justice, and simply not finding those principles in the pews…

By falling out of step — and out of touch — with the heart of Christian teachings, more and more evangelical congregations are losing their young members and feeling left behind.

The evangelical church faces a credibility gap. How can the church be rooted in a tradition, in a person, in a God of radical social justice and yet leave their young folks yearning for exactly that?

(You can read the whole article here.)

In short, this reactive exodus from the church is twofold:

1: The false prosperity gospel that has typically drawn other demographics is being quickly rejected as hype to 20-somethings who are seeing how weak and unbiblical that line of theology is, as well as how self-serving its values are. We’ve grown up bombarded by advertising as soon as we left the womb, so we can tell a sales pitch when we see one.

And, 2: Despite our time spent Twittered away on social media and games, us Millennials are, paradoxically, a generation who want meaning in what we do vocationally, which is why we’re looking for jobs that serve our communities, or at least show that they’re socially responsible (see this article). We grew up watching the superficial “go to church, work hard, make money, be a good person” moralism, which nonetheless resulted in a lot of bitter, judgmental people, many of whom left deep wounds that, sadly, are thus directly associated with church.

Because of this compelling need to find meaning and purpose, we’re not content with sitting and listening to sermons that are basically just pep talks with a few Bible verses peppered in because, after all, you’re at church. We’re much less inclined to play the church game, filling pews “because that’s what you do” like previous generations may have. And, we’re willing, wanting to get our hands dirty with actively meeting the needs of our communities and the world, and are very disappointed when this drive is only nominally shared by some of the church.

All of this is, I think, actually a blessing in disguise— do we really want high numbers in church attendance if the attendees are only there because “that’s just what we’re supposed to do”? Do we want followers who go through the motions but only have a shallow notion of what they say they believe? Do we want preachers preaching sermons void of the gospel, just tickling our ears with things that make us feel better about ourselves (and better than those other people)? Do we really want to be content with just giving our money to social justice and community issues but not making it a major part of our lives? Are any of those things even Christian at all?

These, I think, are some of the questions raised by Millenials questioning their own church attendance and the way in which they live out Christianity— and whether that’s what they even want to believe after all.

Those who are leaving the church are doing so because they feel lost in a sea of questions, many of which do have answers. But for many of them, their religious upbringing was simply a list of rules with the qualifier “because the Bible said so,” so once they’re on their own and facing real-life questions they don’t know the answers or where to find them since they saw that their own churches and leaders couldn’t answer them. They’re seeing that some things they were taught aren’t actually biblical (prosperity theology, extrabiblical moralism, etc.) and because of their shaking faith many of them aren’t sure of the Bible’s authority anyway.

While these statistics are alarming and should drive believers to some serious reflection and action, in a roundabout way, it should also give us some hope. According to Tyler Jones on The Resurgence:

Researchers from Pew Forum discovered the following when surveying a cross-section of adults who claim to be evangelicals (Southern Evangelicals are the subject here only because they tend to have a higher adherence rate than evangelicals in other regions – this is best case scenario):

• 98% of all southern Evangelicals believe in the existence of God
• 41% of southern Evangelicals believe there is only one true interpretation of the Bible’s teachings
• 36% of professing Evangelicals in the South believe their religion to be “the one, true faith that leads to eternal life”

If 98% of Southern Evangelicals are certain about the existence of God, but only 36% of the same group believes their faith is uniquely true, then 64% of professing Evangelicals in the South believe in a gospel contrary to that of the Bible. Simply put, the average church and the average Christian in America do not understand or believe the Gospel. When a church loses the revolutionary power of the Gospel, legalism and religion replace it. Churches are dying because they are nothing more than organized religion, which cannot change the heart of men. When a legalistic dinosaur dies, that’s a good thing!

Churches that live, teach, and believe the Gospel are prevailing; not even the gates of Hell can stand against gospel-centered churches! The death of organized religion rooted in legalistic churches is a thing to celebrate.  We should declare to the world, “Legalism is dead!”  We should lead the way in celebrating the fact that moralistic religion has no place among the sons of God. 

(You can read the whole article here.)

The question remains— what can we do to help people with this kind of background get into gospel-centered churches and communities where they can find answers to their questions and develop a firm faith to stand on?

Related:
Can Christians Walk a Political Party Line?
God, Save Me From The American Dream
Don’t Believe Everything You Hear
The Increase of “Fake” Christians

One of the pastors at our church recently wrote a blog addressing common questions regarding the origin of Christmas— whether or not Jesus was born this time of year, if this holiday has “pagan” roots, and whether any of that really matters when we consider celebrating Christmas:

Many skeptics contend that Christmas and Easter have pagan origins. They use this claim in a philosophical sleight of hand to conclude that Christianity is rooted in paganism and thus nothing more than myth.

I discussed alleged parallels between Christianity and paganism in a previous blog, but what of these particular holidays? Are they rooted in paganism? If so, does it imply that Christianity is mere fable?

Click here to continue reading the article.

Obviously this juxtaposition of photos is meant to evoke an emotional response. I’ll bet your response was one of the following:

Despair: “This is sad, but it’s not like we can ever really change things. There’s too much greed in the world.”
Offense: “This is unrealistic. It’s Christmas— are you really going to be a Scrooge and tell me I can’t get my kids presents because there are starving kids in Africa?”
Detached Guilt: “Ugh, that’s so true. People (not me, of course, but people in general) spend too much money on so many silly things.”
Overcompensating Guilt: “Ugh, that’s so true! Sorry kids, no presents this Christmas!”
Pride: “Yeah, that’s sad, but I work really hard for my money so I can spend it how I want to. And I donate to some charities each year so that evens things out, right?”

I realize people are convicted in different ways about what to do with their money, but in a season that is undeniably marked by overabundance and greed it is good for each of us to take a hard look at how and why we spend our money the way we do, to pray about what our convictions should be (not just what we’re comfortable with or what seems “normal”), and to reflect on whether we’re living obediently to how God has convicted each of us.

The other day I watched a sermon by Chris Seay which offered some perspective on our culture’s norms in consumerism. You can watch the whole thing here, but if you fast forward to the 11 minute mark he really drives the point home describing a conversation he had with a friend:

“Just imagine you being the father of your children as God is our Father looking down on us, and if your son Solomon made a lot of money… but your other children don’t have clean water. The reality in this world today is that one child dies every 15 seconds because they lack clean water… Imagine if Solomon had all this money and Trinity didn’t have clean water and her children didn’t have clean water and Hannah didn’t have food and her children didn’t have food, and at Christmas Solomon would come home and lavish gifts upon you, but you knew that your other children were dying. How would you feel? I’d be pissed. I would be pissed at my son if he didn’t take care of his brothers and sisters and their children when he had so much.

“Imagine God looking down on us at the worst time of year for us with consumerism, which, ironically and sadly, is when we celebrate the birth of Christ, the birth of the savior that came to save us… There are people that get on Fox News and they’re really mad because when you come into Wal-Mart they’re mad that they don’t tell you ‘Merry Christmas.’ I’m just the opposite— that is the worst place on the planet that you should invoke the name of Christ at Christmas time.

“And we look out at these problems in the world… and realize these problems are solvable. In America every year we spend 18 billion dollars on makeup… Perfume, we spend 15 billion dollars… You begin to realize for 5 billion dollars we could solve the problem of universal literacy; for 10 billion we cold get clean water everywhere on the planet— we wouldn’t have one child dying every 15 seconds… For 19 million we cold eliminate hunger and malnutrition.

“At Christmas, what if we asked families to participate in the birth of Christ in a different way? Instead of spending so much money in honoring one another, what is we tried to honor Christ? What if the gifts really were for Jesus, and if they were for Jesus surely they were for all of His children.”

I think part of our overspending is a detachment from reality and a myopic view of the world. $30 doesn’t seem like much, until I realize how much $30 a month does for Sebenele, our little girl in Swaziland who we sponsor through World Vision. That tends to put things in perspective. What can you remind yourself of to help broaden your vision and put things in a global, Christ-centered perspective?

Yes, things cost differently here, but we also shouldn’t live as though here is the only important place in the world. And here, there are also a lot of needs— USA Today recently reported new statistics that show 1 in every 45 children in the US are homeless, an increase of 33% since 3 years ago. If starving children in Africa seem too far away and hard to wrap your mind around, realize there are also needs right here at home, down the street from you. There is no shortage of people needing help, only a shortage of people willing to change how they live, willing redefine their needs in order to help meet the needs of others.

Where in your city can you make a difference by spending your time and money in a way that doesn’t just serve you, but your whole community? How is God telling you to reorganize your resources, to redefine necessity in your own life so you can stop simply doing what’s “normal” and live to serve God and others as you are called to do?

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matthew 25:34-46)

I also shared a bit more about how the Bible clearly says that all Christians are called to be a part of missions in one way or another, and how we can think creatively about living missionally so as to be obedient to that calling on each of our lives.

Click here to check it out.

Before Jesus’ arrival, John the Baptist references this passage in Isaiah 40, knowing that the promises given here were finding their fulfillment in Jesus:

A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
(Isaiah 40:3-5)

In a dry and barren land, God promises to meet His people with refreshment, revealing His glory to the whole world, which John the Baptist rightly recognized in Jesus.

Likewise, as all that is green is drying up, we are reminded of our smallness in comparison to God’s greatness:

The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the LORD blows on it;
surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.
(Isaiah 40:7-8)

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand
and marked off the heavens with a span,
enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure
and weighed the mountains in scales
and the hills in a balance?
(Isaiah 40:12)

Lift up your eyes on high and see:
who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing.
(Isaiah 40:26)

The ESV Study Bible makes an interesting note on that last verse:

God’s creating the stars would have been awe-inspiring even in ancient Israel, where about 5,000 stars were visible at night. Astronomers now estimate, however, that there are more than 400 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy, and that there are 125 billion galaxies in the universe. The total number of stars is estimated at 1×10²² or 10 billion trillions. Moreover, the God who created all of these, the Holy One of Israel, even calls them all by name and ensures that “not one is missing.” Such a God will surely never forget even one of his people.

We are so incredibly small compared to God, like a grain of sand compared to the entire universe. But our smallness does not mean we are overlooked:

But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
the offspring of Abraham, my friend;
you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:8-10)

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.
(Isaiah 40:11)

When we drove ourselves into darkness, God gave us light. When our actions brought us strife and despair, God gave us peace and hope. When we showed time and time again that we could not uphold the Law, God gave us Jesus— the long-awaited Messiah who would deliver us from the Law, the One whom the Old Testament continually points to in God’s promises to His people.

Now, we celebrate that He has come, and just as we saw God fulfill His promise to send a Messiah, we trust that Jesus will be faithful to return for the completion of God’s promises to make all things new.

During this season of Advent, we empathize with the deep sense of longing that people before Him felt as they awaited His arrival.

And now we wait for His return.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth… For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.
(John 1:14-18)

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”
(Revelation 21:5)

Related Content: Advent: The Wait

Until recently, I had next to no idea was Advent was. I’ve seen the little calendars at the store along with all the Christmas decorations, and so I thought it was basically a children’s activity to get them excited about counting down to Christmas; only recently did I learn there was much more to it than that.

Our church The Village is celebrating Advent officially as a congregation for the first time, and thankfully they’ve put together a brief video to help clarify what it’s about and how this old tradition is especially appropriate to help us refocus our hearts during what is supposed to be a season of hope, joy, and anticipation that now, for many, has become a commercialized season of greed and selfishness.

Click here to watch the video.

They’ve also put out a helpful study guide (which you can download and print for free here) that has both an individual devotional and family activities.

Oh, come, Desire of nations, bind 
In one the hearts of all mankind; 
Oh, bid our sad divisions cease, 
And be yourself our King of Peace. 
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel 
Shall come to you, O Israel!

I’m thankful for the opportunity that the Advent season provides to refocus our hearts and minds on what should be our comfort and joy not only during this time but all year long:

Christ is coming, He has come, and He will come again.

Our five-year anniversary is this Friday the 18th. That means I’ll have spent 1/5 of my life married; that also means I’ll have known my husband for over 11 years, close to half of my life so far.

If you were doing the math, you’d know that means I was 20 when we got married. I was 19 when he proposed. Even in the south, that’s pretty young to be making such a huge commitment.

So why the rush? I’d heard questions like, “How can you already be so sure he’s ‘the one’?” and “Why do you want to tie yourself down so soon? Don’t you want to see what’s out there?” and “You’re so young— don’t you want to go have fun and learn more about yourself first?”

These are common questions, but I think they’re coming from the wrong idea about what marriage is— at their core, those questions presuppose a selfish view marriage through a lens that is either fatalistic or ominous. They’re trains of thought that, if followed, could only one day lead to a train wreck of disappointment. None of these thoughts can be supported by a Biblical view of marriage.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot with our anniversary coming up, and then I read this blog post by Trip Lee (who is awesome, by the way— even if you don’t normally like hip-hop/rap you should listen to him!) who also married young and had some interesting anecdotes on it:

At first I felt like I had to prove to the naysayers that getting married young is ok sometimes. But when I looked in the Scriptures I didn’t find stuff like, “Marriage equals death! Flee from it!” or, “Put marriage off until you can’t put it off any longer,” or, “Only get married when you’re too old to enjoy life,” or, “Play the field for a while and then pick the best one.”

Instead I found commands like, “Flee youthful lust”, and I read passages like Proverbs 18:22 that says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

So when people say, “What possessed you to get married so young?” my new response is, “You’re asking the wrong question.” I think at the root of that question is the assumption that marriage steals something away from me, as if my youth is being wasted in committed sacrificial love when it could be used for casual pleasure and flakiness.

Marriage is a beautiful gift from God! It is a means of grace. I found a wife, and that is a good thing. I don’t agree with the logic that says [to] put off God’s richest blessings as long as you can. Instead, I would say enjoy God’s good gifts and steward them for His glory. (Read his whole blog post here.)

There is of course the question of maturity, and it is a legitimate question. Being married is like sanctification on steroids. Have things been hard? Absolutely— you put two sinful human brings in any sort of relationship and there will be times of tension, much less with someone you live with and who knows everything about you, including the parts you’d rather hide. But we’ve both experienced more spiritual growth as a married couple than I think we ever would have otherwise, and God continually uses our marriage “as iron sharpens iron” to sanctify us. Without marriage’s requirement of daily humbling ourselves in order to serve each other (and believe me, we’re still learning that!), I don’t think either of us would have a clue at this age what it looks like to daily humble ourselves and serve Jesus— just one of the many parallels you can draw between the symbolism of marriage and the relationship of God and the Church.

Although we were young, for us there wasn’t even the question of ever being with anyone else; we knew we wanted to grow up and grow old together. So, Lord willing, here’s to one day getting to say I’ve spent nearly all my life with my sweet, amazing husband, sticking together “for better or for worse,” knowing that what binds us is something so much stronger than even our love for each other.